Recently I was out at a local sports bar with a friend and we noticed a group of guys leave the table next to us.  They’d had drinks and food, left a big mess and we could see a big “zero” written in on their credit card slip.  If the guys could afford to eat at the restaurant, they could afford a tip.   Right?  Isn’t that the rule?

One thing we taught our kids as soon as they could start going out on their own was tipping.  When they went somewhere, the question was, “Do you have enough for a tip too?”  If the answer was “no”, then the suggestion was to eat somewhere else or we’d help out.   This holds true for manicures, dining, haircuts, etc.

It’s important to teach to our children to be responsible tippers as an essential part of etiquette.  All too often, we are looking for an out when it comes to tipping.  I’ve even seen people create a situation so they don’t have to tip.   We’ve all eaten with that person who is impossible to please.  I say, if you take that person out with you, your wait staff probably deserves double.  If the meal gets comp’d,  the tip should be calculated including the price of that meal.    Rare is the time that the person serving you doesn’t deserve any tip at all.  Be reasonable with your expectations.

>>> GUIDE TO TIPPING

So here’s the forfeit.  You’ve forfeited all your reasons not to tip if your dining party consists of any of the following; a loud drunk, anyone who taunts the staff, kids who run around the restaurant, crying babie(s), Miss. “fifty-million-special-requests”, or anyone who leaves a huge mess on the floor.  In fact, consider a bigger tip, tipping the tables next to you and staying at home next time.   Okay, I’m being  facetious but, I think you get the point.  Even someone who pays $32.00 for a steak, is not entitled to ruining anyone’s night or being a jerk to the staff.

There’s more.  The manicurist…tip.  At the carwash…tip. For the person who made up our bed in the hotel…yes, we leave a tip.  At the restaurant, (even Sweet Tomatoes)…tip.   These are all things that we need to figure into the cost of the service and not resent.   Tipping is not only proper etiquette but it’s an essential part of the income of the people who provide many services.   Also, tips are often split between a number of staff.

Generally the proprietor does not receive and should not expect a tip.  Tricky, if you don’t know.  I usually err on the side of caution.  Most proprietors will refuse a tip.

Now, for the record, I’ve never worked in the aforementioned industries.  I simply think we can all improve on our tipping practices AND we should stop looking for a way out of a proper tip.  If you were a celebrity, you could make one of these lists based on your tipping habits.  Scandalous!

>>>CELEBRITY BAD TIPPERS

>>>CELEBRITY BEST AND WORST TIPPERS

Mr. Scrooge had to be visited by ghosts and visions before becoming known as the most generous man in town.  San Franciscans are known as bad tippers.  What will we be known as?

God Bless us Everyone!

People rave about the fall colors of New England.  Truth be told, there are many wonderful trees with brilliant fall color that don’t  require the New England chill for a stunning display.  Let’s start building our own attractive landscape, right here, in the valley!

People in our area will ask for well behaved roots, hardiness, and reasonable water requirements. Check, Check, Check.  Properly planted, all of the trees I’ll show you do very well here in the valley and you’ll even see them in commercial landscape projects.  That’s a pretty good barometer of hardiness by-the-way.  Commercial landscapes have to stand up to a lot.

October Glory Maple..A Heat Tolerant Acer Rubrum

Ginkgo Fall Foliage.. A Prehistoric Genus in a Class all it's own. Many improved varieties on the market now! The leaves shimmer in the breeze. It's a beautiful contrast in the landscape.

Nyssa Foliage.. This one is a winner. Super easy to grow, very well behaved, getting increased use in street medians and parking lots. Underused in my opinion. Excellent red fall color on a small to medium sized tree.

Keith Davey Pistache. A Valley favorite. Grafted male, prized for it's brilliant fall foliage, lack of seed pods. Dependable and easy to grow. Moderate size at full maturity.

Most, if not all, of these trees should be readily available at your local garden center.  Some, will even arrange planting for you!  Proper planting is very important.  If you do-it-yourself, be sure to follow instructions for proper planting.

Fall is an excellent time to plant! Enjoy!

Here I sit, almost seventeen years later, and I am pre-occupied with thoughts of the all the moments that brought us to this day.  My youngest is in her senior year and I can’t help but reminisce.   It seems daily, I see the images of all the days gone by.

I remember the first call to poison control when my daughter discovered apple shampoo and the ensuing look of horror on my son’s face as he sat in the bath covered in the rejected shampoo and her dinner…

I remember cleaning the bugs out of the tracks in all my windows so she wouldn’t eat the “raisins.”…

I remember my daughter standing on a box to sing next to me on stage for the first time and then boldly grabbing the mic we were to share, because it was still too high and far away from her mouth…

I remember my children and the neighborhood children playing on the fire truck parked in front of our house as the Fresno Fire Department responded to my attempt to have a fire in the fireplace—with a closed flue…

I remember the look of joy on my daughter’s face when we first placed a violin on her arm… I remember also we went shopping for her first good guitar and my pride in listening her play each one…

I remember watching her cross the finish line so many times in her little BMX uniform.  (She was one of the fastest of her age in the country and it seemed she enjoyed racing just for the hot dogs)

I remember arguing and laughing in the dressing room as she tried on formal dresses…

I remember wrapping her, as my little baby, in a big fluffy towel, holding her and rocking her in my arms after an evening’s bath, calling her “my sweet baby.”

Often we are told that our children aren’t really “ours.”  Our children are entrusted to us for only a little while.  It seems that either I am much too sentimental or time passes much too quickly.   I simply know that every moment is to be cherished.

I remember, as if it were yesterday, wrapping her in a big fluffy towel and calling her “my sweet baby.”  “Mama,” she said, “I’m not yo sweet baby no more…I’m a big girl.” “That’s right,” I thought, “Yes, you are.”

I put her to bed… and then I cried.

What’s eating your precious plants in the garden?  Chances are, this time of year, it’s caterpillars.  Those boogers are out with a vengeance.  The leaves look like Swiss cheese, or worse yet, they’ve been stripped to the stem.

Caterpillars do not respond to most conventional insecticides or snail bait.  They require their own special weapon.  The good news is that the tool for their destruction is organic and safe for the rest of us when applied properly.  Bacillus Thuringiensis (kurstaki strain) is a specific bacterium that paralyzes the digestive system of the caterpillar (larvae) within hours of being ingested.  It’s a strain of bacteria that’s just doesn’t agree with their creepy little caterpillar tummies.  Simply put; caterpillars (larvae) eat it, stop feeding almost immediately and then die within a few days.  Bacillus Thuringiensis is widely available on Garden Center shelves in concentrates as “BT”.  Just ask for a caterpillar killer with “BT”.

BT is great for controlling a wide range of caterpillars including, but not limited to; tomato worms, cabbage worms, leaf rollers etc.  Just keep in mind that caterpillars are the larval stages of butterflies and moths.  The two go hand in hand.

That leads to the butterfly garden.  If you are planning a butterfly garden, it stands to reason that it should be far from your prized veggies and plants susceptible to caterpillar damage.  You could end up chasing your tail if you try to make close neighbors of your tomato plot and butterfly garden.  I guess you could put up a few birdhouses to control the insects.  Then maybe you’d have to hope the birds leave your veggies alone.  Hmm…  Maybe a cat to keep the birds away?  Oh ick, what about the cat lying on the flowers.  Ok. I think you see where I’m going with this.  There is no substitute for proper planning.

The Grasshopper And The Ant

We all remember the story of the grasshopper and the ant.  The grasshopper sang and partied all summer while the ant worked hard to store up food for the winter.  Those darn hard working ants!  They’ve been all over the place!  Did you know that they feed off the waste of other insects and work hand-in-hand to protect their little friends?  It’s in your best interest to control ants and keep them from nesting.  Use pesticide granules to kill and control ants now while they are busy preparing for the winter.  Also, consider Tanglefoot™ or other sticky barrier products you can apply to your tree trunks to keep the ants from getting up into your trees.   There they act as little sentries for the destructive, piercing and sucking aphids and ants can damage your crops too.

Sleeping Beauty

Soon the winter will be upon us and most of your trees and plants will settle for their long winter’s nap.  Bores and critters will slink away into dormancy and resurface in the spring and summer with their destructive habits.  Trees will benefit from a long lasting (12 month) systemic insecticide treatment.  This is readily available at garden centers and is most effective when temperatures are around 80 degrees.  (Too hot and the tree won’t take it up — Too cold and they’re sleepy and not eating) Fertilizers and insecticides are generally not effective when the garden is dormant (sleeping) so, act in mild weather.

Always read labels to ensure proper use and storage of household and garden products!

Soon all the bad little villains were dead.  The trees and the flowers cheered.  And they all grew happily ever after!

I spent a little time asking Hannah about herself, this unique project and her inspiration.   What a delight!

Q:  How did the idea come to you to do the “Embrace” photo shoot?

A:  I have always been very passionate about the concept of “inner/God-given” beauty, but up until recently I never thought about using photography as a tool in expressing that passion… I asked a few people if it would be a good idea to organize a shoot, and I received very positive feedback. Then after that, doors just kept opening…professional photographer and friend Tom Milne let me use his studio, and many friends offered to help with the process. Everything worked out so much better than I ever anticipated.

Q:  What did you enjoy most about the shoot?

A:  My favorite part of the shoot was spending time with all of the girls… Having the opportunity to celebrate every girl’s unique beauty was awesome in itself, but having a photoshoot dedicated to that beauty made it even better.

Q:  What thrilled you and/or surprised you the most about the Embrace experience?

A:  I was very excited to see how many girls showed up! When I was first planning the shoot, I only expected a few girls to show up… that “few girls” turned into 30 girls rather fast!

Q:  Describe how and when you started in photography.

A:  I have been into photography ever since I knew how to push the button on a camera. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I would set my stuffed animals up and have “photoshoots” with them using my disposable Kodak. Whenever my parents and I would take trips to Sea World or Knott’s Berry Farm, my interest was more in taking pictures of the flowers in planters scattered throughout the park rather than riding roller coasters.

Q:  Who influences and supports you most and how is that important to you?

A:  It is a no-brainer to say that my mom, Jackie Moran, and my step-dad, Rick Moran, have been my number one supporters. They are always there for me with encouraging words (they) provide me with more than I deserve regarding what I need for my photography. In addition to my parents, (there was) my high school journalism adviser, Greg Stobbe… Tom Milne (photographer) has also been an extreme blessing and supporter… I am blessed to have been given such an amazing “support team”…

Q:  What can moms and parents do to help their daughters ‘embrace’ who they are?

A:  I think it is extremely important for mothers to encourage their daughters with words of affirmation. Knowing that someone else, especially someone as close as a mom, thinks you are beautiful and appreciates you for who you really are and not for what the world wants you to be is in my opinion the best way to build self-confidence. Appreciation is key…knowing that those closest to you love and appreciate who you genuinely are makes the biggest difference in the world.

Hannah will be studying Theology beginning in the fall but says it’s safe to say that photography will always be in her heart and her camera will always will be with her wherever she goes.  That’s a good thing!

When I learned to properly stake a tree, I was struck by the parallels to life. The stakes must not rest against the trunk, but against the rootball, allowing the trunk room for growth. The ties must not strangle the trunk, but wrap in a fashion allowing room to grow. The stakes must be strong and tall yet not extend too high into the head of the tree. The head of a tree must be able to sway in the wind and become strong.

When I was young, I was fearful of many things. As a mother, I wanted my children to be bold and adventurous. I wanted them to experience many things, try many things and to do so without fear. I resolved early on not to bubble wrap and scaffold my little trees. Not easy!  Sometimes terribly hard.

Through the years of bumps and scrapes, tears and tantrums, and stiches and splints, I resolved to walk and not run to the rescue. That was hard! I wanted to give my kids the chance to solve their own problems. I didn’t want to over-react to minor setbacks and thus teach them to do the same.

One of the kids’ interests for a few years, when they were younger, was BMX racing.  They were quite good.  Being good means being fast and being fast means some pretty crazy wrecks on the track.  The kids were well protected and the tracks were well staffed.  Sometimes it took every fiber of my being not to leap the fence like the bionic woman when they wrecked.  I tried to look like a Secret™ commercial. ( I never let them see me sweat.)  I waited on the sidelines, brushed the dust off them, smiled and offered a snack while dad and the other dads checked out the bike.   Soon, the next moto would come and they would be ready.

My children had the courage to try and succeed in some pretty tough sports like BMX racing and later in waterpolo. They were never afraid to bite off big challenges. My son has rebuilt his truck from the tires up and never met a power tool he didn’t like. My daughter’s dreams are bigger than I could have ever imagined, and she makes them happen. This mom, once a girl too afraid to try a cartwheel, is pleased. I look forward to watching what the future brings in their lives and in the lives of their children someday.

Don’t get me wrong. You can’t hold this mommy back. I live for love, cuddles and hugs. But affection represents the flowers in the landscape and not the strangling tie on the tree. The strongest of trees are the ones that learn to sway in the wind. One day, they’ll stand in all their glory with no stakes at all. What a beautiful sight that will be!

**

To my Children, 

May you always find joy in the breeze and the strength to stand in any storm. 

Love Mom

I’m a little bit more aware of mosquitoes because I work outdoors all day for a nursery and also because of the time I spent in Haiti.  Also, before and after my missionary trip to Haiti  last summer, there was extensive protocol to follow for malaria prevention.  From the pre-trip planning, I learned more than I ever wanted to know about incurable mosquito-borne illnesses.   That said, prevention is a good thing.   We are fortunate to have the tools, so let’s use them!

In addition to a wide variety of inoffensive sprays and lotions on the market, I’ve found a few little goodies in my travels.  One of my favorite products is yard insecticide specifically for mosquitoes that can be sprayed on the lawn and garden. It kills mosquitoes for up to a  month.  I’ve used different brands with a variety of  active ingredients, all with pretty good results.  My selection usually depends on what’s available at the time.  I really like a spray that can be attached to a hose.

I always read labels on any chemical products and follow the directions.  Note:  These items are usually found on a separate aisle from the insecticides.  At one store, I found these products by the citronella candles.   There are also some organic choices on the market, but they require much more diligence with repeat applications.   Because I am the target of these blood-sucking monsters, I prefer to go full-out Rambo on them.

Another cool item, especially for camping, wilderness travel or for those who work outdoors, is a Permethrin soak.  This soak can be used on clothing and mosquito netting for added protection.  I used this mosquito repellent on much of the clothing I took to Haiti.  It lasts through several washes — especially if there are no washing machines!

I’ve heard mixed reviews about Vitamin B-1 and B-100, so I will simply share my own experience.  I took B-1 and used repellent every day in Haiti.  On the days I did not take B-1, I experienced more bites.  I’m not a doctor, and I don’t even play one on TV, but that’s enough proof for me.   Ask your doctor, but I’m pretty sure it’s good for your health, too!

Enjoy your summer,  and protect yourself from those greedy little blood suckers.

Belmont Nursery in Fresno is currently looking for your used containers and will give nursery credit on good used containers in 5g and 15g.  You can take that nursery credit and… well… Buy more flowers!

Many local nurseries will accept your used containers and some have policies to give a modest credit.  So stop dumping and start recycling!  Turn your recycling into blooms!

Go Green Baby!

I think we’ve all done it.  We’ve set our sights on something that we saw growing beautifully for someone else and thought it would be just fine in our little plot of land.  Despite our efforts at TLC it does well for a time and then eventually declines.  Worse yet, we’ve gone day after day watering that same old dead plant when we know we need to rip that puppy right out of the ground.  Some people will tend dead trees or plants for months and years!  We all hate to lose our investment and after all, it worked for everyone else, right?

Gardens require tending.  If we are after a hardy landscape with little maintenance, we can select hardy plants and leave them mostly to their own devices.  Wow, that’s dull.   I like a few hardy shrubs that I don’t have to tend but, other than that, I like a little excitement in my garden.   Not all hardy plants are dull but I do see a lot or boring out there.

It’s nice to delight the senses of sight, scent and touch.  I love taking chances on a few interesting finds to see what happens.  I am not reckless, only adventurous.  Trust me.   I’ve watered my share of dead plants and I have the experience to have known better.

Usually the solution is as simple as following planting directions.   Sometimes it’s more complicated.   If we want a specimen of interest here and there, we may have to accept that it doesn’t work for everyone or that little beauty may not be permanent.  It could be one of those plants that will last only for a season.  Perhaps it will find some fertile ground, the right hands to tend it and then delight us beyond our expectations.

Here’s the exciting bit of good news.  Exotic and interesting doesn’t have to be high maintenance.   Some growers have become quite creative with their offerings.  Many improved hybrids have popped up over recent years.   There are many beautiful selections that can take our heat and are improvements of what you think you knew.

So, cut your losses baby and stop feeding the dead.   Here are some fun choices for “interesting” if you think you can handle it!

Justicia Carnea  -  Brazilian Plume Flower  (prefers mostly shade)

Leonotis Leonora – Lions Tail

Buddleia (various) -  Butterfly Bush

Echinacea (various) – Cone Flower (I can never resist touching this one)

Salvia Gaurantica – Black and Blue Salvia

Osmanthus Fragrans – Sweet Olive

(she’s nothing special to look at, but a knock-out yummy scent when blooming)

Get Planting!