Central Valley Moms » Gail Marshall

The Mom Is The Message

Gail Marshall — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 01:57:06 +0000

Moms are sneaky.
Sure, we have a reputation for being incessant nags, but we do some of our best work in secret. We put applesauce in the brownies to make them healthier; carrots in the cake; cauliflower in the mashed potatoes; yogurt in the smoothie. Kids never know what we will be up to next.
Food is one thing; but I am really loving the way moms are mashing up the dialogue with the decorating. We have been doing it at least since the Victorians sat for hours cross-stitching “Love One Another.” That was the proper Victorian mother’s way of screaming, “Stop pinching your brother!” I am sure a cave woman scratched a heart into the centerpiece stalagmite of her family home to make the conversation firepit more civilized.
Today’s moms are taking it to a whole new level, and I am obsessed with it. I found photos of a home on the web that squeezed in mom messages everywhere in the house — in the most charming way — and it sent my imagination flying.
I love words. Bookshops are my favorite stores and I feel happier just reading Vonda’s quotes on the walls at her Villagio store in Fresno. Several years ago, I hired a talented friend from church to paint “Welcome friends” and “God Bless You” in huge letters in my entry hall. An antique type tray hangs on the wall of my hallway and I write messages and jokes to the family with the type letters. The current message is about a friend of mine and it started out “Michele is bom.” Then she made the mistake of telling us that she drank too much at a party and we changed it to “Michele is bombed!” She appreciates that, I’m sure.
In the teen-agers’ bedroom, the most popular spot in the room is the blackboard, which was given to us by a painter who loved the idea that we host all these international teenagers. He wanted them to have a blackboard. They adore it. And so do we. We write them love notes and jokes and their friends add to the messages.
That tradition has grown to an additional little heart-shaped blackboard that hangs on the bedroom door. Now our two girls write notes to each other – loving and otherwise!
On the addictive website “Pinterest,” there is a mom who has taken this to a whole new level. She has messages everywhere in her house! They’re on plaques, on blackboards, on cups, plates, in artwork, in the garden, on the bed, in the bedding, on the Christmas tree. There are even messages to the dogs! I swear, there is a display of dog portraits and a sampler that says “Forget Me Not.” How sweet is that?
One of my favorites in her collection is something I will swipe: a red wood mirror frame with the words, “Pretty is as pretty does.” Wouldn’t that be great over the girls’ bathroom mirror?
Many companies are selling words to put on the wall. This one is really pretty: Some families are posting entire mission statements. “In this family … we do second chances … we do grace … we do real…” Something like this: One of our exchange students wrote love notes to us all over the walls when she left because we mentioned that we were going to repaint after she left. I cried the day the painter came. He was so sweet; he suggested that we take a picture. (He’s the one who gave us the big blackboard for the room after that.)
I’m thinking of using erase board paint and blackboard paint on all our kids’ bedrooms from now on. We need to talk.

10 Good Gifts For Kids Who Are Different

Gail Marshall — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 08:04:02 +0000

Mothers nationwide are captivated by the recovery of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords of Arizona, who survived an assassin’s bullet to the brain? Count me a huge fan of this determined and courageous woman.
But did you realize there are people – even little children — going through this process of recovery from traumatic brain injuries every single day in the Valley?
Meet Margie “Mo” McClain, who survived a horrific traffic accident. She has been fighting her way back ever since and now is a teacher at Diamond Learning Center, a place founded by Jami De La Cerda that guides people through the painful healing process.
Jami has learned her lessons about learning disabilities the practical way – her son, Elijah, has Down Syndrome. He’s doing beautifully, and in fact, is the cover model for the Toys R Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids. While I had her, we went through the catalog and she chose some of her very favorites.
Wii, Xbox, Legos: These are always good choices for kids and Jami and Mo were effusive about the play possibilities of these toys. You cannot miss with these.
Washable Dry-Erase Crayons: Both swear by dry-erase boards for children as a great, creative activity. They come with a dry-erase mitt to wipe clean and start again. $3.99
Light Up Alphabet Apple by VTech: This is an apple-shaped activity center that teaches children to identify the alphabet letters. The children need just one finger to press letter buttons to hear the letter’s name in a clear voice. There are pictures, words, lights to keep the kids interested in growing their language skills. $19.99
Dora The Explorer Mega Tunes Guitar by Fisher Price: Music works magic with brain injuries, Mo and Jami agree, so they were very high on this little toy, which is just the right size for small hands. $21.99
Tap-A-Tune Drum by Little Tikes: I always figured buying a drum for any child is asking to be put on their parents’ hit list. But Jami and Mo have found that the muscle, coordination and the learning is so important, the racket is worth it. The drumsticks are secured by with holders so they cannot get lost in the bottom of the toybox. $9.99
3-in-1 Tricycle Zoo by Smart Trike: This toy is a dream because it lasts through three stages of development. It has detachable seat guard a cushioned seat back and a safety harness to provide support. For babies, parents can push it, toddlers can practice with the pedals and when they are ready roll on their own, they can pedal themselves. My favorite part is that it has a bottle holder and a toy cell phone. $124.99

Wheelchair and Crutch Set for Dana Doll: How refreshing to have a doll that rolls with life and brings disabilities into playtime. This doll comes with a wheelchair, crutches, an arm cast, foot cast, ice pack, elastic bandage and oxygen monitoring clip. Journey Girls dolls also come in different ethnicities. The doll is separate. $24.99

Whisper Ride Buggy by Step 2: This is a cool little transporter for toddlers. There is a pretend steering wheel with a horn plus foot rests, straddle seating and seatbelt for balance and stability. There is a handle attached to the rear so parents can walk and push so children who cannot get around yet can enjoy the ride. Again, love this, a cup holder fr their sippy cups. So cool. $49.99
Teachable Touchables Texture Squares by Educational Insights: Ten pairs of 3-inch squares help children feel and see differences in surfaces and provides an opportunities to use their words to describe what they are experiencing. Blessedly, it comes with a storage bag and an activity sheet with ideas. $20.99

5 Best Inventions In 2011 For Moms

Gail Marshall — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:59:20 +0000

Invisible moms! Mind-reading moms! Magic moms! The best news for moms I’ve seen all day is in the latest Time magazine, “The Invention Issue,” which ranks the 50 Best Inventions of 2011.
Mamas, this is not about new e-readers. The times, they are a-changin’ in our favor! Child-rearing may never be the same. Yes, there is a new Mars Rover and a better electric car but there also are new technologies that can rock our kids’ worlds. No wonder the college students are protesting the cuts to their classes and raises in tuitions. They’ve got inventions to polish up, and I, for one, cannot wait for them to do so. Imagine stepping up to your mirror in the morning and everything you need to do appears before your eyes. I might run screaming back to bed because of that one, but a mom could make some serious magic with with an invisibility cloak. Heh heh. No more surprise ditch days or after-prom parties with suspicious beverages.
This whole list is a must-see. But here’s my commentary on the most promising advances for mothers:
1. Mommy drones: Helicopter mothers, rejoice. There is now a teeny, tiny hummingbird drone called the Nano Air Vehicle (NAV) with a spy camera. You know how teens never want to be seen with us? We can keep an eye on them now and who will ever guess it’s us? OK, it’s a little pricey at $4 million but maybe we can share the expense with our girlfriends and divvy up the expenses.
2. Mind-reading software: Most moms do just fine reading the minds of our children, but now technology can actually draw us a picture. The bright lights at the University of California at Berkeley have cooked up a kind of supercharged MRI that models what people are thinking. This should at last determine which kid ate the cookies.
3. The Cold Killer: No more runny noses! No more all-nighters soothing a hacking child. Those geniuses at MIT have figured out a drug that might cure colds. It hammers viruses the way antibiotics beat down bacteria. That alone could save us hours of sleep and tons of tissues. Hooray!
4. The Ultimate Lullaby: The British band Marconi Union has recorded “Weightless.” Tests show that this music, 8 minutes and 10 seconds, reduced anxiety by 65%. Best of all, this works for both mom and baby!
5. Give Those Inventors A Hand: The Possessed Hand is an armband with electrodes that controls your hand. Talk about being the life of the party, your kids could instantly play keyboards, guitar, and I would hope, pick up the 450-piece Lego set out of the carpet. Makes me wonder if we can wire the kid up and then turn it on “pause”, making him stop pinching his brother.

Bonus — The perfect child: At last, we have the perfectly obedient child! Siri is the fun feature on Apple’s new iPhone 4S that actually listens to us when we tell her to do something. Really, tell Siri to find you the best sale on Pampers right now or write a thank you note to your boss and she will actually do it. I’m thinking mischievous thoughts. Siri could hound the teenagers 100 times a day to slow down in the car, stand up straight, cough into their elbows and pick up their socks.
There are dozens more new brainstorms in this awesome article that could reinvent motherhood and I, for one, can’t wait for them to get to a local store near me. Check them out right here:

Help Susi With Her Baby Library

Gail Marshall — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:03:28 +0000

I giggled when I got the invitation. A three-dimensional baby in a crib popped up in my hand when I opened it! It’s a baby shower, my favorite kind of party. A new mommy is about to be born -– and everytime I look at her beautiful belly, I think of the song from “Legally Blonde,” “Omigod, you guys!”

A few weeks ago, I popped in on a baby shower for my friend, Susi Schonberg-Lopez. Susi is expecting a Christmas baby, a little girl we cannot wait to meet named Anna Madeline.

I’m not gonna lie; I love the shopping for baby girls. The clothes they are designing for little ones right now are so delicious I could bite them. The Mud-pie line alone is so sweet they could sell their socks at See’s. And useful? There are even diapers that post a message on the outside to tell you it’s wet on the inside! It’s a fun afternoon for me looking at this otherworldly stuff, hugging the toys and cuddling the new, ultra-soft blankets. Unless I need to break a land-speed record for shopping, I skip the baby registries. Somehow it takes out the thrill of exploring what’s new, and of course, the treasure hunt for that perfect thing so fun to buy that it makes you talk baby babble. Although I am fascinated by all the new gadgets, I’m partial to heirloom gifts. Since Anna Madeline is coming in December, I chose a wooden advent calendar, which I filled with candy and baby gifts. The parents will get to open that gift throughout December and then be able to re-use it every Christmas.

One clever part about this shower, though, is that it was also a library shower. Everyone was asked to take a book for the baby library — love that idea.

Here are some of the divine little volumes that Susi’s friends and family wanted to be part of Anna’s childhood:

~~ “I Love You More”
~~ “Giraffes Can’t Dance”
~~ “On The Day You Were Born”
~~ “Fancy Nancy Splendiferous Christmas”
~~ “The Velveteen Rabbit”
~~ “The Giving Tree”
So, what books would you suggest that Susi collect in her baby library? Which books — at which ages — do you and your children adore?
Susi was tickled to get each one, but she also a little bit melancholy. She is anxious to get her own favorite storybooks in German from home. What a clever Mama she is. She already knows one of the best things about being a mom and grandmom: we get to be kids all over again!

Top 10 Voice Mails That Make Moms Scream

Gail Marshall — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:43:19 +0000

Vampires? Zombies? Spiders? Pfft! None of that stuff scares a mother. Voice mails and text messages? Now, that can make a mom go Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Nooooooooo! Aeuiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
BEEEEEP!
~~ “Hi, Mom: We left the dance early, we’re totally in love and we’ve decided to get married in the Elvis Chapel in Vegas! See you Monday!”
~~ “Oh, Mommy, look! Grampy got me a BB gun!”
~~ “Hello, Ma’am? This is Sheriff Mims calling. I have your son here with me.”
~~ “Good afternoon! This is ‘Hoarders: Buried Alive’ calling. We would like to film your children’s playroom this afternoon.”
~~ “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mama, me wanna be in ‘Toddwers and Tiarwas’ WITE NOW!”
~~ “Hey, babe: C’mon, let’s try for a boy one more time and make it an even dozen.”
~~ “The doctor asked me to call and let you know you will need to be on bed rest for the next four months of your pregnancy. Any questions?”
~~ “Auntie Fifi is dressing me up as ‘Pretty Woman’ for Halloween.”
~~ “Hi, little pumpkin. Daddy and I sold the house today, so we thought this would be a perfect time to visit you and the kids for a few months! We are so excited! We arrive Friday!”
~~ This is Ms. Carter from Alexandra’s class at Miss Priss Private School. Alex’s order for 200 pounds of frozen chocolate chip cookie dough has arrived. It’s so ambitious that she volunteered to sell all this before Thanksgiving!”

A Bloody Good Drink For Halloween Day

Gail Marshall — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:57:53 +0000

“Feed me!” is the plaintive — yet terrifying — demand of the monster plant in the classic musical “Little Shop of Horrors,” which Bullard High School’s drama students are performing to rave reviews right now.
I gotta say, I can relate. Moms hear those words – “Feed me!” every day.
Stay cool. It’s all good. Here is some insider information. I work in the newsroom at AM 940 KYNO and KJWL 99.3 FM and this week dozens of moms – and dads – have put their talents together with the stations to create a new local cookbook with their family favorites. It’s called “K-JEWEL 99.3 FM Feeds Fresno” and it’s available at Whole Foods. The best news is that the book is only $10 – and every penny of that goes to Community Food Bank. Andy Souza, the fearless leader at the food bank, says the money from each book is enough to feed a family of four for a week thanks to the buying power of the food bank. They can turn $1 in to $8.
Here’s a sneak preview for you with a recipe that will work perfect for Halloween Day! This one is from E. Curtis Johnson, programming director of the radio stations. E. has never had a drink of alcohol in his life so this recipe is completely family friendly. I like to serve it in a pretty glass with an olive, a celery stick, red bell pepper, asparagus spear and pickle tied up with a green onion on the side.
If you’re serving adults, of course, you can spike it with vodka. Either way, it’s a great beverage for a bloody good holiday!
BLOODY MARY MIX
16 ounces tomato juice
3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
½ teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon horseradish
3 drops Tabasco sauce
¼ teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon lime juice
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon celery salt
1 tablespoon green olive juice
Place Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, Tabasco sauce, lime juice and green olive juice in a food processor. Process until the horseradish fibers are fine bits. Mix in all other ingredients. Chill in refrigerator for at least one hour. This is an excellent beverage without the alcohol.

Oh, and if you want to make a family night of it, here is the performance information for “Little Shop” at Bullard. It’s a fun night. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bullard-High-School-Theatre-Feast-of-Fools/100556299426

Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? The First Lady

Gail Marshall — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 06:33:25 +0000

OK, mamachefs you get the call. Guess who’s coming to dinner?
The answer is former first lady Laura Bush and 160 of her closest Valley friends, who are paying $5,000 a table to eat your food. What’s for supper?
That’s precisely the assignment given to the West Hills College culinary students.
Here was the menu, according to The Fresno Bee: Organic filet mignon, chile enchiladas with lime creme fraiche and coco tres leches with cinnamon meringue.
Sounds delicious to me! And a nice menu to try for the next special occasion.

10 Habits of Happy Mothers

Gail Marshall — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 03:44:22 +0000

“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

That’s always the message I whisper to new fathers. They look confused at first, expecting more traditional baby advice. But the babies will be fine: It’s the Mama, the Mama, it’s all about the Mama. When the dads flash back to their own upbringing, there is a knowing nod. Ah, yes-s-s-s. Must…keep…Mommy…happy.

According to Dr. Meg Meeker, I should be whispering the same thing to new mothers. A popular writer of parenting books, a pediatrician and a mother of four grown children, Meeker has a new book just out called, “10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity.” (Ballantine Books, $15.)

After reading her book, I had a revealing chat with her on the phone last week. At the core of her wisdom is one word for what we all should aspire to: “contentment.” She said she originally wanted to use that term in the title, but happy worked a little better as a title.

To me, there is a difference between the two emotions, and a major key lies in her No. 1 habit: Understand your value as a mother.

“Our real value,” she says, “comes from three places: We are loved; we are needed, and we are born for a higher purpose.”

Now that’s a far cry from the big three messages coming at us night and day from the popular culture: what we look like, whether our kids are happy with us and how big our paycheck is.
Meeker learned these lessons from many mothers she quotes in the book, including Julianne. She asked Julianne how she became such a contented mother of two daughters.
“I take after my mother,” Julianne said. “She loved being a mom. My sister and I were her whole life and she enjoyed being with us. I never felt pushed into being anything other than who I was, and I always knew that she enjoyed our company. I adored my mom. . .

“These two need me. I do feel irreplaceable to them and I guess that comes from my feeling that my mom was irreplaceable to me when I was growing up. And she still is. .. What I give these two monkeys is more important to me than anything.”
And that is just the beginning of the list of “habits,” which are:
~~ Maintain friendships, especially those with other women.
~~ Value and practice faith.
~~ Say no to competition.
~~ Create a healthy relationship with money.
~~ Make time for solitude.
~~ Give and get love in healthy ways.
~~ Live simply.
~~ Let go of fear.
~~ Embrace hope as a way of life.

This is all simple, sound advice, delivered with impressive clarity. My big moment with Meeker came with Habit No. 9, where I recognized how much fear I hold on to as a mother, without truly realizing it. I just called it “stress” or “anxiety.” But its true name is fear and it’s got to go. . Isn’t it ironic that fretting about not being a good enough can actually pass on fears to our children, instead of security, fun, our deep love for them and the joy of being their mother?

Meeker’s advice is a treasure. Learn more about her at www.megmeeker.com.

Mamas Make The Difference

Gail Marshall — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:40:09 +0000

Mamas, take a minute today to measure your priceless worth in the life of your children. Don’t believe me? Believe this: http://www.wimp.com/iraqirefugee/

Eating well is elementary

Gail Marshall — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 15:20:32 +0000

One of the hot stories in today’s Fresno Bee is more yakka yakka about school lunches. Must they be nutritious? They are great hands-on nutrition lessons. Why mess up an automatic teaching moment?
Learning to eat well is — learning! Of course, the schools should serve exemplary meals. It’s school! Should they teach English improperly because parents use poor grammar at home? Of course not! It would be great if all parents were blessed with perfect grammar and syntax skills, but the truth is they are not.
However, schools should still teach the proper way to do things. If kids want to go out with their friends or family and use nutritional “slang,” nobody’s stopping them. But they should learn good nutrition at school so they know what healthful eating and appropriate portions look like. If their families use proper grammar and eat nutritiously at home, that kid has hit the jackpot.
A lot of the attention goes to chocolate milk. This could be solved with compromise. Serve sugar-free chocolate milk, serve it once a week as a treat, serve it as a dessert. Work together, people, please!