So, I started thinking about how women seem to have a
problem with “bodyology.”  I mean we are so bombarded with
the unrealistic standards placed on us by Hollywood and the
cosmetic surgery industry,  some of us have forgotten that
our bodies are temples; vessels in which our spirits dwell.
This is, by no means, to say that we shouldn’t do the very
best we can to keep ourselves in good shape and looking as
attractive as possible.  But I have decided to reclaim the
beauty that is inside of me, even when I look as bad as the
picture on my driver’s license!  We all need to do this
because the mirror will never please us if we don’t first
feel beauty on the inside.

How does one go about finding the lovliness within?  I think
we should all make lists of our gifts and positive
attributes.  Are you a kind person and a good friend?  Do
you have the ability to make others laugh and feel good
about themselves? Are you a person who can find order in
chaos?  Each of us possess many talents and our lives should
be a reflection of our gifts, because those are the things
that remain when our bodies start to crinkle and creak and
fall apart.  Makeup and skincare are good….heaven knows I
use my share of spackle and paint, but there’s more to true
beauty than that.

I’m going to focus on cherishing my body for the places it
has taken me, the memories it holds and the way it has
carried around my spirit for all of these years!  In other
words, if I can’t have the body I love….I intend to love
the body I have!  So what if I’m less perky than I used to
be….wearing a size 38 long isn’t so bad.  And if I
sometimes wake up with bags under my eyes that need luggage
tags, I can still find reasons to laugh and that’s the best
cosmetic of all!  Go to this link to hear the Grand Diva
sending a message about finding the beauty inside:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=538skJoEFs0

Linda Henley-Smith
“For the Good Times” Programs

We first laugh at about two months of age and by the time we
are four years old we are laughing at the rate of about one
chuckle every five minutes. Then, somewhere along the path
to adulthood, an amazing thing happens. We become much too
sophisticated to laugh so indiscriminately. We become
“groan”-ups and spend more time looking for reasons to worry
than we spend looking for reasons to rejoice. In order to
appear proper and professional, we monitor our laughter and
silliness and make sure we only display it at appropriate
times; for instance, when we’re intoxicated. Basically, some
adults, on a daily basis, give the appearance of having
their pants in a bunch…..a condition which doesn’t do
anything but make them walk funny and look miserable. But,
we often think that look will make us seem more mature.

Trust me…there IS an elf in yoursELF. Somewhere in there,
is that little kid you used to be….the one who kept
bubbles in your school desk…not the antacid that may today
be in your desk at work. The problem with grownups is that
we tend to separate work and play. We feel that if we are
having a good time while we are working, we will give the
impression that we’re not taking our work seriously.
Actually, play is an integral part of the thinking process
because it breaks down mental barriers and opens the rivers
of creativity. The word silly comes from the old English
word saelig, meaning happy and blessed. I’m not advocating
wearing moose antlers to a board meeting…but there is a
happy medium. If you don’t have an emergency laughter kit in
your drawer, think about getting one. Stick in some bubbles,
a clown nose, a yo-yo, a little notebook of jokes, cartoons
or funny stories, and anything else non-alcoholic that will
break the tension when the stress snakes begin to strike.

If you have forgotten how to play, never fear because it’ll
come back to you. If you’ve been grumpy for a long time,
your inner child might not want to hang out with you at
first, but once you abandon the rigidity and the constipated
lizard look on your face, the elf in yoursELF will pop out.
Don’t worry about your dignity because there is a difference
between being childISH and childLIKE. Aim for childlike!
You’ll be glad you did and so will everyone around you!

Linda Henley-Smith
“For the Good Times” Programs

www.lindahenley-smith.com
(800)325-2844

Many women enter the

In researching my book, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, I found that more and more women feel the need to realize their career potential but don’t want to give up the desire to raise a family. How do these women do it all while still maintaining their health and peace of mind in the process?

Here’s what a few of the women from the book had to say:

1) Schedule “Mommy Time.” Darelyn “DJ” Mitsch, president of the corporate coaching company The Pyramid Resource Group said she books “mommy” time along with her work appointments. She also said she recalibrates her time as her children grow up, giving some of that time back to herself. She recently published her memoir, Mystic Grits.

2) Segment time and space. Julie English, a Six Sigma Master Blackbelt engineer and CEO of Within Reach Consulting, said she needs to have a place to work outside of the home. For years, she worked for a corporation. When she felt she had enough experience (and not enough recognition from her boss), she started her own business. Yet she maintains an office a few blocks away. She only goes there two or three days a week, but she needs the physical separation to refocus on herself and her work.

3) Integrate activities. Barbara, a senior manager for a multi-national shipping company, takes the family with her once or twice a year on business trips. When she went for her MBA, she showed her two daughters the campus and shared her homework assignments with them. They were so proud of their mother on graduation day.

On the other hand, when DJ found a note from her son in her suitcase asking her if she loved travel more than she loved him, she started hiring other coaches to do the ground work which allowed her more time at home. Ultimately, this led to her winning bigger contracts because she had a team to do the work.

4) Maintain social bonds. Putting friendships on the back burner is one of the greatest mistakes of busy, working women. Not only will your friends help you maintain focus when customers whine, kids scream, health issues nag, and projects overwhelm, they will keep you from feeling isolated when you work for yourself. Find at least three other women who are consciously trying to create more satisfying, purposeful lives like you are. Meet regularly. Eat meals together. Take walks. Your “community of support” keeps you sane as well as productive.

5) Keep your body healthy. Julie discovered that she quickly lost track of her schedule when working for herself. To keep her body in good working order to get everything done, she found she had to start the day with exercise before even reading read her email. Also, she makes sure she eats healthy meals instead of what she can gobble down in quick breaks. She schedules her lunch hour and sticks to it.

6) Regularly notice the world around you. I get acupuncture once a month to reset my overtaxed body. It was my acupuncturist who first told me that I was disconnected. He then prescribed a daily dose of going outside, smelling the air, appreciating the trees and feeling the ground beneath my feet. When I reconnect with nature, I reconnect with my soul.

7) Recreate. DJ said she still needs to recreate herself every few years, answering the question, “What’s next.” She has to give herself private reflection time to find an answer which always includes work that is meaningful for her and contributes to the world she brought her precious children into. She says she will always be learning, playing and growing to feed her wandering soul.

Marcia Reynolds, PsyD

Marcia Reynolds is a coach who teaches classes worldwide on emotional intelligence and leadership. Read more about her and her book, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction at www.WanderWomanBook.com

Superwoman sparkles all day at work, then spends one hour of quality time with her children after school. She manages to exercise, prepare a gourmet meal, and serves up a cold martini to her husband as he walks in the door.

Most of us, despite our talents and commitment to work, family and careers, never will have the stamina or drive of Ms. Super.

So how do women accomplish their goals without burning out with obligation overload and withering on the vine due to lack of self-nurturing?

The secret of any woman’s success can be found in those with whom she associates – her Empowerment Circle of support. Whether you are trying to lose weight, accumulate wealth, deal with a difficult child, care for a sick parent, manage a demanding career—having supportive, empathetic, conscientious people in your inner circle is critical. Without these individuals, most women don’t have a chance at achieving personal or professional aspirations.

To draw the right members into your circle to help you achieve your ambitions, you must first set a specific goal. Is it to lose weight? Start an entrepreneurial business? Further your education? Whatever that intention is will determine the make-up of your circle—this is not a “one size fits all concept.”

Make sure each individual you identify is someone you trust and respect. As you are pursuing your goal, this group will supply information, resources and support. In order to maximize your chances of accomplishing your goal, you will have to share sensitive information about yourself and receive constructive feedback. If you do not feel completely safe with the individuals in the circle, you will be reluctant to participate and reveal yourself. At this point, your empowerment circle becomes nothing more than a book club or sorority meeting.

Once you have identified and assessed potential members, invite them into your circle. This is a very critical step as it will require you to bare your soul. Remember, under the Superwoman mantra, a woman in need of help is an oxymoron. You have to shed any deep-rooted thoughts about going it alone; thoughts that may hinder you from building strong supportive relationships. After all, you’re not asking for a handout. You are acknowledging that you are on a journey, one that will be made easier by the support of others. For many 21st century powerful women, this is a difficult task.

Once you have developed your empowerment circle, whether you meet once a month in person, twice a month or share a weekly phone call, getting connected with others is an effective way to balance the demands of career and family, accomplish a career goal, manage your weight, or start your own business.

Areva Martin

Areva Martin Companies, Inc.

www.arevamartin.com

Hmmmm. I do believe I have two right sides to my brain.  My math teachers never appreciated my solutions to word problems. I didn’t have the patience or apparently, the inclination to figure out how fast a train was going if it left the N.Y.station at 4:00, made a stop in Oakville and arrived in Pittsburg at 7:21.  I was much more interested in imagining and writing about who was riding on the train and why they were going to Pittsburg in the first place….was it to meet a lover? Visit a long lost friend?  Change their identity and start a new life? I had many stories about all of the situations presented in the math books…a condition that was not appreciated or admired by my left brained instructors. They were not amused. Neither were my parents when they got my report cards.

I soon realized that in order to be a functioning member of society….and if I didn’t want to be the only 45-year-old eighth grade graduate, I’d need to balance out my thinking.  However, I also learned that one can over-analyze and be a tad too logical in some situations.  Sometimes you just have to go with your gut and take a leap of faith.  How many opportunities are missed and experiences are overlooked in the name of “practical thinking?”  When’s the last time you really really really wanted to try something new or just have fun for the heck of it but you let your big BUT get in the way?  “I’d try something new BUT I’d probably look silly” or “I’d love to give that a shot BUT it really isn’t practical.” Or my favorite…”That looks like so much fun BUT what would people think???”

I say, Who Cares what “people” think? Who are the “people” and why do you care so much about their opinions?  I’m not talking about wearing moose antlers to a job interview or doing something dangerous to yourself or others….I mean just stepping out and trusting your instincts rather than treating life like a math problem and always having to be logical and “show your work.”  That is only necessary if you live on the planet Vulcan.

Logic, order and discipline are absolutely essential….but adding a little spontaneity and emotional thinking to our lives isn’t a bad thing.  It makes us well rounded and more appreciative of life’s unexpected opportunities. Everything doesn’t always have to make sense….sometimes just enjoying ourselves is the best part of being alive.

Linda Henley-Smith
“For the Good Times” programs
www.lindahenley-smith.com