Central Valley Moms

Parenting

huh
Nov29th2011

Explain it to grandma

It’s the moment you’ve been both waiting for and dreading: Introducing the baby to grandma your grandma. Sure, she’s going to be thrilled to meet her new great-grandchild, delighted to discover that the infant has her late husband’s dimpled chin and her own dark eyes.

The potential for dread comes in when you reveal the baby’s name. A lot of names today are going to feel unfamiliar, confusing, ridiculous, or downright stupid to grandma. If you choose one of the following, you’re going to have a lot of ‘splaining to do.

Brooklyn Brooklyn is the place (to her mind, the dirty, stinking place) her family settled when they came over from the old country, certainly not a name for a baby.

Finley Whether Finley is a girl or a boy, you’re in trouble, partly because the name doesn’t give any clue whether the baby is a girl or a boy, and partly because isn’t Finley a last name and not a first name?

Iris Or Florence or Edith or any other name, maybe even her own name, that feels to her like a dowdy unfashionable old lady name that she’s always hated. And no, she’s not happy that you named the baby after her.

Leonardo Or Bridget or Abraham or any other name, maybe even her own name, that feels like some embarrassing remnant that should have been left back in the Old Country. After all she’s been through, you couldn’t pick some nice American name, like … Susan, maybe?

Luna What’s that you say? Loony? Luna meaning the moon? She’ll just call the baby Lucy.

McKayla Oh, Michaela, like the girl’s version of Michael: She’s heard of that, that’s an all right name. But then you spell it. You try to explain it. Which is as impossible as explaining Twitter. Or beer pong.

Ophelia Grandma’s read her Shakespeare, and she knows who Ophelia is. But why would you want to name a baby after such a tragic character? Juliet, Delilah, Holden, etc., all have potential to cause similar problems.

Palin We’re imagining a Who’s On First scenario: “The baby’s name is Palin, Grandma.” “The baby saw Sarah Palin? You mean that lady from Alaska who ran for president?” “Vice president, and no, her name is Palin.” “Yes, I know her name is Palin. But what’s the baby’s name?” At which point, you might as well just give up and say Reagan or Kennedy.

Ranger Ranger’s not alone: Grandma is probably not going to understand Archer or Sailor or Sawyer or any of the other new occupational names either. If you name your baby Ranger and your Grandma is over, say, 90, better just tell her his name is John.

True True may be a desirable quality, but it’s certainly not a name Grandma’s going to get. Hope, sure. Patience, maybe. But True is an answer on a quiz.

Nameberry is a baby-naming site produced by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, co-authors of 10 bestselling baby name guides, including the newest, “Beyond Ave and Aiden: The Enlightened Guide to Naming Your Baby.” See more at http://nameberry.com .

Nameberry.com

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