I attended a memorial service in Pacific Grove for a former colleague over the weekend. Her name was Jayne Speizer and we worked at The Bee together for a few years. She died at age 60, from complications after a heart transplant.
During the service, several friends spoke eloquently of her, but none so touchingly as her husband of 30 years, Irwin, who also wrote and edited for The Bee for many years. Jayne’s was such an extraordinary life, so well lived, that it is only right to pass on some of her wisdom. Jayne wasn’t a mom but she had philosophies for life that every mother can use.
• You must be present to win. Several friends made note of Jayne’s ability to focus on the present moment. One story I especially liked was a lifelong friend, whom she made on a bus ride. Other people may have worked on their Blackberries or read a book during the long trip. Not Jayne. She engaged her seatmate in a riveting conversation the whole time. Though they were strangers when the trip began, they became friends for life.
• Make family of friends. Jayne did not have a big family so she created a family from her friendships. One friend said very emotionally that she taught him that you don’t have to be blood to be kin.
• What will be will be. When Jayne had a setback , she didn’t dwell on it. She would say, “It wasn’t meant to be.” And move on to the next challenge.
• People before things. When Irwin and Jayne were working in Fresno, they suffered from a case of midcareer burnout. Jayne wanted to face it hea d on. She suggested taking six months to travel around Europe. Irwin had to be talked into it, but eventually they took nine months traveling around Europe in a Volkswagen campervan. Irwin would say it was only when he lost Jayne that he realized the real significance of that trip. How did she know, he said, that the time they spent together was more important than their house, their jobs and all their stuff?

Farewell, Jayne dear, and thanks for your magical spirit.