All opinions and no experience makes Daryl a silly girl.

Daryl Hannah — you’re a lovely  actress, but when it comes to being a mom, well, sweetie, just stick to playing one in the movies. This  childless actress has all kinds of  strict advice for other people  — pretty weird stuff.  For example, no  actress should adopt a child unless she stops working and never has any help.  Oh, and parents should have no more than two kids unless they adopt.  If she ever does break down and become a mom, she’s so going to laugh at herself,  as we all do.  Check out the rest of her silliness  here:

Daryl, I’ve been there. We’ve all been there — BTK. Before the kids, we had all the answers to parenting, didn’t we? I love the story about the child psychologist who said that when he started his practice,  he had four theories and no children. Now he has four children and no theories.

What were some of your child-rearing theories  BTK? Here were some of my bright ideas before reality peed on my best party dress:

Having kids will not  change my life. I’ll do everything just like before.

I’ll never be one of those boring moms talking about  poopy diapers and Piaget at dinner parties.

I’ll never talk baby talk.

I will never, ever tolerate acting up at the store.

I’ll never say bad words in front of the children.

No plastic  pants over the cloth diapers. (It took me changing clothing and bedding five times in one day to give that one up!)

My children will never cry in public.

Never talk to  children with a mad face.

No breakfast for the kids until their bedrooms are clean and the beds are made.

Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you can’t always look good.

Kids will never affect the romance.

I will  never be suckered by teenagers who sneak off to  party with their friends.